Names! Names! Names! We cannot avoid remembering names! Names of people, places, animals, etc. I have also learnt that sometimes things are not what they are ......for some names can indeed be misleading!
Someone gave my family a puppy when I was in primary school. I wonder why mama gave her the name of "Lai Im". A girl in my class was also also called Lai Im. I persuaded mama to call our pet "Snooty, Creamy, Kopi Susu" or anything that sounded less human. One day, mama saw our dog dashing off and she hollered, "Lai Im! Lai Im. Come back!" A lady was walking past our house, and she turned back and looked at mama, "You called me? My name is Lai Im".
When my ACS boys gave me a stray puppy which they rescued from the mangrove swamp, they gave me two names to choose.... Kamlet or Kamster. I thought Kamster sounded like gangster, and decided to call my puppy Kamlet as it could rhyme with Hamlet.... more intellectual! I put an "e" ending to denote a feminine name. Many of my friends were shocked to find that Kamlette was actually quite a big golden retriever mix! She was certainly not a small Kam, as the word "lette" implied. My chow chow, Xiaobai, was given to me and I did not want to change his name. Only added our surname. Hence Kam Xiao Bai. Xiao Bai means little and white. But he is neither small nor white. He was a good size dog and was creamy beige in colour. Reminds me of coffee latte.
Once a young lady joined our Bible study group. When we asked her for her name, she was quite reluctant to tell us. Later we found out the reason. She was called Chan Yeow Kwai, which sounded like devil in Chinese. We decided to give her a new name, Grace Chan. My best friend is called Loh Soh Wah (Loh Soh is long winded in Hokkien) and a friend is called Fei Loh (sounds like fatty Loh or the fat one).
Many people have mistaken my friend's name, Kwok Wai Tour, to be that of a tour company!
I guess his father must be someone who was very conscious of the British presence and decided to spell an otherwise Chinese Tou with an additionl "r" that smacked of British snobbery! Or perhaps he was someone who liked travelling very much.
During the 8 years I operated my Italian Restaurant, it was not easy for me to keep a straight face when I was addressing some of my customers. They had surnames like Mr. Lovelace, Miss Lovely (surname did not quite go along with the looks), Mr. Woodman (Char Tow Kong) and Mr. Bellbottoms. Our regular customer, Mr. Love, often acted like he was the most romantic gentleman in town.
Once, out of desperation and growing impatience, I asked the officer from the Ministry of Education, Mr. J. Goodenough, if he was goodenough for his job! Gosh! What audacity!
Now I am wondering if I am good enough to stir up my friends' interest to read this article and make them smile!
Choo Choo Kam
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