For the Connoissuer of Dogs and Words

New dog cross-breeds?

They crossed a Collie and a Lhasa Apso. The new breed is a Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport.

They crossed a Spitz and a Chow-Chow. The new breed is a Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot.

They crossed a Pointer and a Setter. The new breed is a Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet.

They crossed a Great Pyrenees and a Dachshund. The new breed is a Pyradachs, a puzzling breed.

They crossed a Pekingese and a Lhasa Apso. The new breed is Peekasso, an abstract dog.

They crossed an Irish Water Spaniel and an English Springer Spaniel. The new breed is an Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean.

They crossed a Labrador Retriever and a Curly Coated Retriever. The new breed is a Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of laboratory researchers.

They crossed a Newfoundland and a Basset Hound. The new breed is a Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors.

They crossed a Bloodhound and a Labrador. The new breed is a Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly.

They crossed a Malamute and a Pointer. The new breed is a Moot Point, owned by....oh, well, it doesn't really matter.

They crossed a Collie and a Malamute. The new breed is a Commute, a dog that travels to work.

They crossed a Deerhound and a Terrier. The new breed is a Derriere, a dog that's true to the end.

They crossed a Bull Terrier and a ShihTzu. The new breed is a ………naw, that’s too easy......

Above sent to me by my buddy from the University of Alberta, Richard Tam. If you know of any other cross-breeds, please share. Thanks.

Gan Chau :-)

Sister, Are You Performing in a Circus?

Despite its intermittent coughing especially durng rainy days, my faithful little Daihatsu Cuore served me well for one whole year, after which I had no alternative but to scrap the car. My friend, Carrie, recommended me to buy her employer's car as he hardly drove and the mileage for the 5 year old car was quite low. It was an automatic, apple green Toyota Carina. Gosh, at 1600 cc, it was twice the size of my little Cuore. It provided more space to ferry my two pet dogs around Singapore. Kamlette, my mixed Golden Retriever, loved to stick her head out to feel the breeze as the car sped along. On the other hand, my Rough Collie, Kambobo, was contented to spread himself comfortably on the back seat of the car.

One Saturday afternoon, I was rushing to show a client a property. As I was driving along Braddel Road, I began to feel quite uneasy, and hence decided to pray as the car sped along in the heavy afternoon traffic. Just as I reached the trafffic junction between Braddel and Bishan Road, the light turned red and I applied the brake. To my shock, the car spun one round and I shouted out, "Oh God, my doggies have not eaten their dinner yet!" The car came to a halt at another three quarter turn. Fortunately, for some strange reason, there was no vehicle behind or in the next three lanes. Only a van was on the 4th lane, and the driver wound down his window and hollered, "Sister, are you performing in a circus? You're so lucky!" He grinned. I smiled back sheepishly, a little shaken. I was grateful that I had not hit any vehicle or the tree along the road divider! I reversed my car back and brought it to the right position.

When I brought my car to the mechanic and shared with him about my close shave with an accident, he immediately checked the wheels. He was shocked to find that the tyres of the car were too smooth for safe driving. I never knew that car tyres must be rotated or changed after every 5,000 km.! I thought one could carry on driving until the car is scrapped after ten years!

My university buddy, Richard Tam, recently wrote to me, "I noticed that you had several accounts where you were dealing with mechanical things which were particularly obnoxious, such as an eccentric, aged car driving through water. But you came through with flying colors where many a mechanically-adroit person in his right mind wouldn't have dared to tread. You attributed your success to your prayers being answered by the Almightly in whom you place your faith. There's the saying: "God helps those who help themselves". In your case, Sister, it sounds more like "God helps those who can't help themselves and ask for help". Allelujah!"

What an apt conclusion, Richard! In Penang, we often say in our Hokkien dialect,
"Kiang lang chiak gong lang; gong lang chiak Thi Kong". Direct English translation is "The clever people eat up stupid people; the stupid people eat up God". The Mandarin equivalent is "Sha ren yiu sha fu" Direct English translation is stupid people have stupid luck. I am sure Forrest Gump will definitely agree with the above statements.

I guess for people who are very clever, the brains often stand in the way of taking those little steps towards having a mustard seed of faith.

Gan Chau :-)

Early to Bed, Early to Rise

For the past three and a half decades, I have been a night owl, usually going to bed around 2 to 3a.m. and waking up about 7a.m.

My brother's childhood friend, Mr. C.K. Yeoh is in his late sixties now but looks fifteen years younger. Despite his busy schedules as a top executive where he has to entertain a lot, he always disciplines himself to go to bed by 11p.m. the latest and would wake up at dawn to play tennis. No wonder his youthful appearance belies his real age.

Recently a client, Mr. Edmund Ong, bought a two room condominium from my vendor. He told us that he is moving to a smaller flat as he is getting old. We thought he is in his forties and were very surprised when he told us he is a grandfather at 60 years of age! Still with a headful of hair, trim figure and sporty looks, he is ideal material for a very good advertisement for any slimming centre. Like Mr. Yeoh, Mr. Ong believes in going to bed early and having a daily exercise of at least 30 minutes. Since he is retired and beaming with energy, I suggested that perhaps he should start a business, helping people to look like 40 when they are 60. With so much obesity and stress around, it could prove to be a lucrative and beneficial business.

Recenly I read an article which advocates going to bed by 11 p.m. The liver cleanses the body toxin between the hours of 11.00p.m. to 3.00.m. Hence I decided to heed the advice given in the article and am now in the habit of going to bed before 10.30p.m. and waking up at about 4.00.m. I find my health improving and I also feel more energetic and alert.

It is interesting to note that the Creator has built in us natural mechanisms to help us keep ourselves in good health. So to my dear readers who are night owls, "Please try to retire ealier for the night.