Broken by Papa's Gentleness!

"She slaps son for getting 92 marks".

The headline in the New Paper (9 Oct. 2008) gripped my heart. For it immediately made me think of my beloved papa and that fateful day when I brought back my first report card in Secondary One. I had all red marks except for English and Art. Half fearful and embarrassed, I showed papa my report card. Instead of the scolding that I had expected, papa said softly, "Wo de bao bei - my precious child, you have done very well in primary school with all marks in blue. Something must have happened. Think about it and papa knows you can do much better than this". I burst into tears. Papa's gentleness and understanding had broken me more than the loudness of voice or welts from a cane! I told papa that I knew all the answers, but since the instructions in the exam papers had said, "Write short notes on the following...." I really wrote short notes....only 2 or 3 lines."
Thinking back I had been so silly. I guess my classmates were also all in the same boat. Most of them had reports like mine...for they also wrote short notes.!

The following term, we all went back with our report cards.....this time....all the marks were in blue! We had become wiser!

Papa had throughout his life spanked my sister Ean Ean and I.....only once. We had been inconsiderate during play time and our screaming had woken him up from his much needed nap. Later in the evening, he sat me on his lap and asked gently, "Was my spanking painful?" I cried even harder because I saw tears in his eyes for the first time. That evening, I decided I would always try to make papa happy for he was one of the most wonderful father any child could wish for. It pained him even more - he, the giver of the spanking, and the guardian who wished his children the best in life.

Just as water finds its own level, papa had also allowed all his 5 children to find their own level in life. He had never pressurised me to study hard or to practise harder on the piano. Knowing how much I loved to read, he would sometimes buy me story books and magazines. To help save money for papa, I befriended the owner of a little store, and just by buying some sweets from him, I could sit down for hours and read all the comics and magazines in his store!

I am very glad that Madam Iris Sim's attitude changes after she begins volunteering in her son's school. From a demanding mother, a nagger and a tyrant, she has transformed to an understanding mother who could communicate better with her son and others. By volunteering in the school's outdoor adventure club, she has also become physically and mentally healthier. Now she advises all parents, "Don't be too kiasu. Leave your children to grow on their own. They may have their limits."

Indeed, Papa had left his 5 children to grow on their own..... and they have grown up very well... thriving on his love and support, and of course on the blessings of the Mighty One up there.

Gan Chau