Funny Things About Singaporeans

Subject: Funny Things About Singaporeans

1. Thanks to SMS, you have an extra large thumb.

2. Tks 2 SMS, u oso dun no how 2 spel anymor.

3. You pat bus seats and even MRT seats to cool them before you sit

down.

4. At lunch, you start discussing what to eat for dinner.

5. Your wedding photos include shots of you dressed up like Louis

XIV,

6. When speaking to foreigners, you somehow feel a need to adopt an

accent.

7. You don't know 3/4 of the people attending your wedding.

8. You separate food into 2 basic groups: 'heaty' and 'cooling'.

9. You have kids for the tax advantages.

10. You move to where you want your child to go to school.

11. You force your children to take Speech & Drama classes, but

pray they won't wind up in Arts later on.

12. You suddenly realize you're very interested in biotech - just

like you suddenly realized three years ago that you were very interested

in e-commerce, and before that, engineering, and before that, medicine

and law

13. You think people are inconsiderate when they don't leave their

table immediately after eating at the food court but think you have every

right to take 25 bites to finish the last red bean in your ice

kachang.

14. You find it impossible to make suggestions without drawing a

fishbone chart first.

15. If you're a guy, whenever you get together with your guy

friends, you invariably trade army stories.

16. You've eaten more times at the Esplanade than you've actually

seen shows there.

17. You need campaigns to tell you how to be courteous, to flush

toilets, have sex, etc.

18. You always feel oddly hungry at 11 pm, and are willing to drive

to far away places for supper.

19. You work at McDonald's when you're old rather than young.

20. You'll gladly spend $50,000 on a car, but will go to great

lengths to save a few bucks on ERP charges or even a few cents on a parking

coupon.

21. If you're pregnant, you have the strange ability to make people

on the MRT fall asleep instantly.

22. You've started referring to foreign employees as 'talent'

instead of 'expatriates'.

23. At the dinner table, you're always discussing which other food

places serve better versions of what you're eating.

24. You copy down licence plate numbers of cars involved in

accidents.

25. You think your boyfriend doesn't really love you unless he

gives you part of his liver.

26. You pronounce the letter 'R' as 'ah-rer' and the letter 'H' as

'haytch'.

27. You believe that you can generate 'creativity' through rules

and committees.

28. You 'chope' a seat by placing a packet of tissues on the chair.

29. You diligently track the whereabouts of your favourite hawkers,

i.e. you know that the famous Tiong Bahru Bao is now in Jurong, the

famous Outram Char Kuay Teow is now in Hong Lim Centre and the

famous Lau Hock Kien Hokkien mee from the old Lau Pa Sat is now at Beach Road.

30. You think we're living in a modern, sophisticated country even

when our leaders still insist on wearing their white school uniforms.

The above email was sent to me by my
ex-English professor, Dr. Clive


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