The recent arrest of Adrian Yeo, a houseman, made me reminisce about my beloved papa again. For my overseas readers, please log in http://www.tomorrow.sg for more details of the case.
Papa was teaching Chinese and Music in a primary school in Penang. One day, he caught a Standard 6 pupil stealing a classmate's gold Cross pen. Instead of sending the thief to the principal for caning during school assembly, papa chose to counsel the boy quietly. He told the student, that he was a brilliant boy and hence should use his intelligent mind to bless others, instead of plotting to put others at a disadvantage. The boy cried, and vowed to turn over a new leaf. My papa's gentleness and compassion broke him. He resolved not to let papa and his own family down. He later became a prominent Specialist in Malaysia as well as an active volunteer doctor in the Home for the Aged. At papa's funeral, I am sure you can guess, who among his students, wept the most.
I am not implying that we should molly cuddle the likes of Adrian Yeo. I am sure Adrian's family must feel they have failed him too; failed for not recognising his problems earlier, so that they could have sent him for professional counselling. As a nation, we feel a sense of failure too when our young people are caught shoplifting, molesting and subjecting themselves to the danger of drugs and Aids. So much emphasis is on excellence that our people are getting more stressed, confused and depressed. There should be more openness and a conducive environment so that our youths can be encouraged to admit, "I have a problem.... can you please help me?"
As a teacher, I would also blame myself partially if I had failed to help my students other than teaching them to speak and write proper English. This is why I had asked my students to write their journals. In one of the journals one of my boys had written that he often secretly wore his sister's clothes and make up. He also had a deep crush on one of the boys in his class. With professional help from church counsellors, he is now doing well and is happily married with two kids.
Adrian has spent years working hard to achieve his dream of becoming a doctor. His family must have great faith that he will do well. Now the heart-broken father has to sell his only roof to pay off the debts incurred because of his studies. Probably the father was too busy driving longer and longer hours to help bring in more earnings for the family. What an ironical twist!
Someone commented that because Adrian is a doctor, society will expect high standards from him. Please do not put people on a pedestal. Whether a person is a doctor, lawyer, engineer, civil servant, or church pastor ... .... everyone is a human being with his strengths and weaknesses. To err is human; to give a second chance divine. Therefore please give Adrian a second chance to continue his housemanship and medical career. Let him have a chance to contribute back to society in a more meaningful way than to label him for life.
I hope our hardworking police force will go around internet chat rooms and hook up the likes of Adrian Yeo, so that they can receive proper counselling and professional help. This would be better than throwing them behind bars and spending taxpayers' money. Two packets of rice with meat and vegetables a day times 245 days cost a lot, you know.
Gan Chau :-)
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
The Second Chance that made a Thief a Doctor
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2 comments:
i enjoyed reading your article but have to disagree on some points. yes, i agree that counselling is important for our well-being, and such sometimes. yes, we all have deep-seated problems in our hearts and minds that need to be dislodged by counselling and healing and prayer and whatever it takes to cure us of our imagined problems. and definitely, to err is to be human and grace is the concept that allows us to become better people each day.
but say, what if the young boy who liked to dress up in woman's clothes and who had a crush on another boy could not be "cured" by the church? Would that make him any worse than you and me? And it seems that you're implying the police force should continue to entrap people just to counsel them - this isn't what the police are for. they don't do goody-goody stuff like this, no matter how honorable. they're job is to maintain the law - in this case, against drug use. say, if they did counsel adrian against drug use and gay sex and only managed to convince him that drugs wasn't going to spice up his life, but couldn't change his sexuality, does it mean that he should go to jail?
i wonder.
Thanks for your contemplative feedback. Yes, you are right. Churches and institutions do not have 100% success in all their programs. Was just narrating an example. Be assured that even if the counsellees remain as they are, they are still loved and treasured. Everyone has a choice. I guess if papa were alive, he would also share the same sentiments, as he always used the soft approach because of his repsect for mankind, regardless of status, age, race, or religion.
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