Friday, September 18, 2009

Murder of the English Tongue! (3)

I received the following email from a friend who is also an avid toastmaster. On a more serious note, though the letter is hilarious, it shows how difficult the English Language could be. Sometimes, I compare learning the English Language with playing the piano - easy to learn, but quite difficult to master. This is why non native speakers of English can come up with words like "paining" and some Singaporeans are quite creative when they combine some words in dialect and Malay, and make them sound somewhat English eg. "chopeing (reserving of seats), makaning, (eating) etc.

My advice to my readers who yearn to improve and master the English Language is to remember the 3 Rs ie. Read, wRite, Remember. With books, magazines and papers that are abundant in the market - we should all have great access to reading materials. Now with everything that can be found in the web, we are spoilt for choice!

'Thanks Bilora,

I laughed till my left hip ached. Been having leg and hip pain for the past 3 weeks. Hope my laughter has removed some of the toxin that had caused part of the pain!

I can imagine my Indian tenants, Ashok, Avinesh, Jasmin, Jayeeta and Kumaran and all my Indian friends laughing their hearts out. Mine is not so bad as I am laughing only my hip out!

Cheers and having a roaring, great week end! TGIF !!


This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India ...

1. Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.

2. This is from Oracle Bangalore:
From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."

3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

4. From H.A.L. Administration dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."

5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

6. An incident of a leave letter
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."

7. A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

9. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."

10. Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."

11. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

12. Letter writing: -
"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."

13. A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'...As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.

Gan Chau

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