Give me bouquets when I am still alive.....

When I was operating Rialto Italian Cuisine at Amara Hotel, my staff told me that she was going to attend the wake of a loan shark who had passed away. My curiosity was aroused because apart from reading about loan sharks in the newspapers, I had never met any personally.

"How would people react at his wake.? What would they say about him? Would there be tears of relief from people who still owe the deceased loan shark money or would there be genuine tears of sadness at the demise of yet another human being, loan shark or no loan shark." Mm, I must find out by going with my staff to the wake.

The wake was quite close by Amara Hotel, and though I felt like an uncomfortable intruder initially, I soon settled down as I tuned my ears in to the conversation around. The family's grief was genuine, signifying that the deceased must have been a good father who took good care of his wife and children. Everyone praised the deceased who was a little like Robin Hood. There were times he would let his debtors off with returning only the principal sum. He contributed to a lot of charitable causes. Once he quietly saw an orphaned boy through his schooling. I have often wondered that it is always a pleasant experience going to a wake, because only good things are said about the deceased. Yet, how was a deceased being treated when he was alive.? It would appear that too often people are ready to character assasinate someone whom they may not even know very well, and instead of helping to establish the truth, more wood had been added to the glowing fire! How nice, if we were to treat everyone as if we were attending his wake.... we have positive and encouraging things to say about the person. This is why I like to live as if everyday were my last day on earth.... it is important to forgive everyday just as others forgive us.... or it might be too late to say sorry. Frankly I hate to attend funerals... my usual bubbly talkative self would be speechless for I would not really know how to comfort the bereaved. If I could, I would rather treat a person very well so much so that I would not have to attend his wake at all. I often tell my friends to give me bouquets when I am alive... not when I am six feet under for I may not be able to appreciate the flowers anymore.

I used to let my students read interesting poems or articles from other sources other than their textbooks. Filial Piety by Tan Jwee Song is quite an interesting poem which I hope you will find entertaining yet thought provoking.

FILIAL PIETY

The old man was dead
And they must fast array
for it's duty to display
their filial piety.
No time to waste,
children, wife, sons, all
quickly donned the ready black cloth
and were taught to cry.

The hall was dressed with condolences
the coffin was heaped with sympathy
The joss papers were burnt with gusto
accompanied by a wailing symphony.

Many gestured their last respects
Many sobbed their sad regrets
Many mourned their heartfelt loss
with cards, mahjong and dice-tossed.

Good sons did good deeds;
they performed the ceremony
according to their needs.
Their old man's death was too deep for tears
so they list ritual with minds precise and clear.

Uncles should offer roasted pigs
aunties should come with big baked cakes
sisters should wail their very best
and the husbands must buy the paper chests.

They buried him at a shaded spot
for future comort they thought.
They bore his soul back home
in a much cumbersome pot.

The episode was over,
his face hung mockingly on the altar;
only his two lonely candle flames remained
to weep his years of pain.

Gan Chau