A Colorful Country with Colorful Asspressions!

What an interesting country we live in! Singapore is a melting pot of different races from all walks of life. Now with our government intending to increase the population to 6 million in the near future, we expect our little pot to be bubbling with more interesting expressions, not "asspressions"!

Yet, our expressions can become "asspressions" if we misunderstand the real meaning for which they are intended or choose to interpret them wrongly out of context. This is clearly seen in the recent interrogation of the family that was checking out of Changi Airport for a week's vacation. For the benefit of my overseas readers and those who missed the news, I will summarise the incident.

Sandra was asked to remove her boots which she did. Later when her daughter saw her putting on her boots she asked the mother and Sandra explained that the Airport Authorities were afraid there might be a bomb inside. An officer heard her and detained her because she had mentioned the word "bomb". More police personnel were called in until the family had to miss the flight. A mountain was made out of a molehill just because the officers had acted according to the books. Sigh!!! The failure of the educational system! Students in the past used to memorise without understanding what they had learnt!!! Some passed with 8 distinctions but could not even differentiate between a harmless family going on vacation and would-be terrorists! Heard the word "bomb" ... arrest!

The above incident had created a furore of excitement and it was posted in www.tomorrow.sg and there were many comments from readers.

I would like to copy from one "Annonymous Coward" and my two replies.

Passenger 1 : I think I need to bomb (meaning a visit to the loo for major "business").

Security : (overheard passenger and start getting all tense up)

Passenger 2 : huh... how long you gonna take?

Passenger 1 : Dunno, it's gonna be a huge bombing session. (and heads to the loo)

Security : HEY YOU! Hold it there, you said "Bomb" twice and the second time, a huge bombing session. I am gonna arrest you for suspect terrorisim act.

Passenger 1 : (puzzled) Whatever for??? I am going to the loo to bomb.

Security : TO THE LOO?? You gonna bomb the LOO?? I am gonna stop you, I shall arrest you NOW, right this moment!!

Passenger 1 & 2 : Siow! (Mad) (and walk away heading to the loo)

Security : Hey! HEY! Dun run... freeze there!! I said freeze!! (and gets into a panic disorder, ram into a pillar, stomping feet on ground) COME BACK HERE! I WANT TO ARREST YOU!!!!!

Posted by Anonymous Coward* on 9 April, 2007 - 5:58am
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Ha! Ha! Ha! Very, very funny lah Annonymous Coward. Old Aunty is learning new experessions evely day lah!

While out viewing a boutique hotel with two colleagues, I learnt a new phrase when Calvin said "I'm going to karaoke." I really thought there was some karaoke at lunch time! Only found out that he meant "xiao pian or wee wee". What a cute and apt description.! I guess it is safer than "I need to bomb". What a colorful country we live in with multiple languages spoken by different races. Best of all, we can learn to speak each other's language. Once an overseas client looked at me in surprise, "Don't you get all your languages mixed up?" Most of us don't except for some "dumb and dumberer" officers who are overly paranoid over the 4 letter word of "BOMB'!

Posted by Ganchau on 10 April, 2007 - 12:02am
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I wonder what will happen if what the blogger said was words like "DIE", "Death", "Nuclear", "War"... That Siva-dunno-what probably will go nuts and tear her clothes off then shoot herself in the head.

Posted by Anonymous Coward* on 9 April, 2007 - 5:44am
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Remember, if you happen to have a friend by the name of Jack, don't ever greet him "Hi Jack!!!" at the airport. You might end up in jail lah. Worse.... longer sentence if your voice is loud and enthusiastic. Never mind that you have not seen your friend, Jack, for a long, long time. Never mind, that it spells of terror when you have these two words linked together.

Gosh.... I am a natural microphone....as a trained teacher, am naturally loud. Sh...sh..sh...

Posted by Ganchau on 9 April, 2007 - 2:53pm
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Perhaps it would be interesting if someone could compile a book on the different expressions used in our colorful country. Or perhaps a book on "Asspressions"....?

Gan Chau