Friday, April 27, 2007

A Singapore Joke - A Great Way to Lose Weight!

It had been a very busy day. I started my day at 6.00a.m. and had some errands to run as well as some viewing in the day. I was tired and hungry when I alighted the MRT at Braddel Station in the evening. I wanted to stop by a coffee shop for my dinner, but was too tired to eat. There was no Chelsea to greet me by the door, as she was camping at her ex-owner's home for a few weeks. Since there was no Chelsea to share my dinner, I decided I would just take a glass of milo. I turned on the computer, and read an email sent by my friend, Elena Ho. I laughed so hard that my tummy became bloated with air and I felt full! I hope readers will enjoy this Singapore joke too.

"A peasant was overseeing his herd of animals in the last family farm in
Singapore when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud
towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses
and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the peasant, "If I tell you
exactly how many sows and piglets
you have in your herd, Will you give me a piglet?"

The peasant looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his HP notebook computer, connects it
to his RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he
calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then
feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution on photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports
it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has
been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database
through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives
a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,
miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the peasant and says,
"You have exactly 986 pigs and piglets."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my piglets," says the
peasant.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as
the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the peasant says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what
your business is, will you give me back my piglet?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
You're a MP for the PAP", says the peasant.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the peasant "You showed up here even though
nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you
are; and you don't know a thing about pigs.this is a herd of goats. .

Now give me back my dog."

I sent this joke to my buddies overseas as well as to some friends. I received an email from my ex-professor who used to lecture English at the National Institute of Education, Dr. Roland Clive. He wrote :-

Dear Choo choo,
Many thanks for the many emails that you sent me ...
especially the last one on `A S`porean joke.
How very true! I thought it was hilarious and I`m still laughing .
It is the best joke I`ve heard in a long time ....
Regards,

Clive
----- Original Message -----

Mm! I am so happy to bring cheer to someone. Next time when I am tired and hungry I will just head for my computer and read my mails and laugh.... definitely a new way to slim down!

Gan Chau

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes, this is funny. Thanks for the joke.

The Oriental Express said...

Glad you enjoyed the joke, Harro.

In Singapore, we must laugh more in order to preserve our sanity, n'est ce pas? :-)