Tuesday, May 18, 2010

BMW - Bring More Worries!

A friend of mine, Soo Kiat, sent me the email below.

Dear Valued customer.

"Thank you for your interest in the new BMW.

BMW acknowledges your dream of owning one. We however regret to inform you that after looking at your payslip even after your Bonus, your application was unsuccessful and you can never afford a BMW in the near future.

We appreciate your dreams and your desires but our brand is not for people like you. We would be appreciate if you didn't insult us with your pay slip again and we have re-attached it to this email to rid ourselves of it.

General Manager: BMW Brand Management
Lawrence Ncube





Your pay, like peanuts, will never buy our BMW!

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My reply to the General Manager, Lawrence Ncube,

Dear Mr. Ncube,

A person's pay could be peanuts to you, but to the person it could mean a lot for the peanuts feed his family, pay for his children's school fees, pay for food on the table and in brief, provide him with quite a decent life. What is wrong with him having a little dream.? Do not underestimate the likes of Susan Boyle. These people too could have a dream.

How did BMW end up with a manager like you who writes in unrefined and somewhat broken English? Shouldn't BMW hire someone with immaculate English to match their equally immaculate cars?

Your BMW stands for "Bring More Worries!" If a man were to drive your BMW into the Johore Causeway, you can be sure someone would tailgate him and target him for robbery! In Singapore, he has to drive oh, ever so slowly, even though the meter says that the car would still be very stable past the 250 km mark! His new BMW would also attract many green eyed monsters who would be itching to give the gleaming coat some scratch marks. If he were to live in a landed property with a car park....it is fine. But if he were to live in a HDB (public housing) flat, he would worry constantly about his beauty in the car park. He might probably end up like this client of mine, a Mr. Tan who owns a lovely Lexus. To prevent his Lexus from being attacked by green-eyed monsters, he parks his beauty on the highest 5th floor of the car park where there are fewer cars. He does not mind walking up and down the flight of stairs in order to protect his beauty.

Compared to your new BMW, my "BMW" is as good as, if not, better than yours. Yours stands for "Bring More Worries" or you might like to add, "Bring More Women"! Someone has said that after God created the universe and everything in it, He rested. But after he created women, He no longer rested! Got my point?

My BMW No. 11, stands for "Bus, MRT and Walking!" My B and my W are better modes of transport for they are not self-centred like your BMW - they could carry many passengers at any one time, hence helping to reduce pollution and global warming. My W is by far the best....it does not pollute or heat up the earth. It does not require more expenditure on huge insurance, and in case of traffic jam it actually moves faster than all the four-wheelers. Your BMW has a short lifespan, but my W actually grows stronger with more usage.

Strangely, with my BMW, I always arrive punctually for my appointments, but my clients and some agents with BMW often arrive late.

Life is already so complex and I don't need you to bring me more worries! Go to the people with fat bank accounts and help to bring more worries to their endless worries.

Gan Chau

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