The Art of Being Good Neighbours

The lovely chilli plant that Irin bought

My birthday present - another potted buah long long.

Irin with her 10 year old Bishon Frise, Kenneth

Irin's latest adoption : Bobby, a Shi Tzu

When second sister, Ean Ean, heard that I have moved to Little India, she frowned, just like many of my other friends who have frowned. However, after having lived here for the past 3 months, I like it here very much. It is in the heart of the city and within walking distance to Orchard Road. I save so much time, as the market is a stone's throw away, the MRT Station is almost at the doorstep, and shops are everywhere. Yet, it is quite quiet here, as the block is not facing any major road. It is also cool and windy as there is no blockage.

Best of all are my neighbours! I have very good neighbours. There is Helen, the lady who operates a food stall nearby. Helen likes to give me packets of her food whenever I meet her. She is very caring and always on the lookout for her neighbours. Wendy is another dog lover, whom I have written about in my earlier blog. My Indian, Malay and Philippino neighbours are also very amiable. I greet them in Tamil, Hindhi, Malay and Tagalog when I meet them.

My immediate neighbour, Irin, is another dog lover. Recently, when she learnt it was my birthday, she gave me two pots of plants and some soil. I was shocked that Irin was able to carry 3 pots of plants and 4 bags of soil all by herself. Beneath her petite and slim frame is a lady of great strength and determination. Although I am bigger than Irin, I could only manage to carry one packet of soil at one time. I am indeed overwhelmed by Irin's thoughtfulness and generosity.

Irin also helps me to collect my letters from the letter box. We have keys to each other's flat so that I can go in and take her dogs out for a walk when she is at work. Irin works in a lounge ; hence her working hours are usually in the evenings. Sometimes when I am at home in the evenings, the two dogs will come over so that they will not feel so lonely. Before I go to bed, I will take the dogs back to Irin's apartment.

Irin also bought a pomelo plant. She believes that she could use a few leaves of the plant and boil them and mix the boiling water with cold water for a shower. The leaves will ward off bad luck when she feels down or depressed. Although I do not believe in superstition, I respect her religion and her beliefs. As a Christian, I do not have to preach Christianity to her. More importantly, I believe is to put one's religion to practice. Instead of saying that God is love, show that love in our action. Then people can feel it. It is more important that we walk our talk.

As I know Irin wakes up late in the day, I try to restrict playing my piano and violin to between the hours of 5p.m. and 9p.m. This is also in consideration of my other neighbours who may want to take a nap in the afternoon or sleep early at night. I have also sealed off the rubbish bin in my kitchen. I collect my rubbish in a plastic bag and bring them down to dispose instead of throwing them into the rubbish chute. I feel that it is quieter and cleaner this way. Irin also follows suit, especially when she realised it could be quite noisy to throw rubbish down the chute after 12 midnight.

Sometimes when I cook nice chicken curry or fried noodles, I pass some to Irin and some of my neighbours for them to try. Irin sometimes buys me breakfast.

Recently we read in the papers about how two neighbours have had feud with each other for the past 8 years. They quarrel and fight over dripping laundry, noisy dogs, and even noisy massages!

8 years! It is a very long time to allow so much anger and irrititation to remain in our nerves! Today, most Singaporeans do not suffer from malnutrition or physical discomfort. Many suffer emotionally because they do not know how to manage their feelings. They also do not know how to express themselves calmly, clearly and concisely. For example, when I first moved in, a neighbour on the lower floor complained to me that Irin was noisy as she would throw rubbish into the chute in the wee hours of the morning. I encouraged him to tell Irin directly but he said, "No, better don't tell her". Since he did not tell Irin, I took it upon myself to explain to Irin. Now Irin no longer throws rubbish down the chute when she comes back from work.

When Irin found out that someone had complained to the authorities about her dogs' barking, she explained to her neighbour about her situation. Now the neighbour also understood where she is coming from and is more accommodating.

Once when Irin did not see me for a few days, she smsed me if I was out of town. She was worried I might be sick without anyone knowing. I replied her that I was in Johore. I had only intended to be in Johore for a day, but ended up staying in my relatives' home for 3 days. Irin's concern touched my heart.

Good, open communication is very important for understanding amongst neighbours. Consideration for others and practice of using one's common sense are also vital. Kindness and helpfulness foster good camaraderie and happiness. Confucius said, "Don't do unto others what you don't like others to do unto you." However, Pastor Derek Hong had once preached, "Do unto others what you like others to do unto you." The difference between the two is our being proactive. Let us be the first to help others, to show kindness and to be generous. It is amazing how people will react likewise, for we are after all, homo sapiens, made in the likeness of the Creator, Himself.

Life is too short. Let us enjoy our neighbourhood. Let us look on the bright side of things. Let us be quick to see the weakness and faults in ourselves before we see the faults and shortcomings of others. Let us learn from one another. Let us never go to bed with anger or unforgiveness. Let us live and let live. And we will live healthily ...physically, emotionally and spiritually.