IQ versus EQ

Recently my best friend, Soh Wah, shared with me that her nephew, one of the top scholars in his school, Raffles Junior College, failed to enter medical school at NUS. Armed with impeccable results, the young man thought, he would surely qualify! Alas! Pride before the fall! The interviewers could see through his arrogrance, and lack of EQ. A good doctor needs more than just sheer IQ!

Yesterday, the headlines in the New Paper confirmed the above. "Mum takes itching daughter to Woodlands doc who scolds her: Your girl, 9, not a virgin". Madam Sarah had taken her little girl to see this doctor who pointed to her daughter, "Who is this girl? Is this your daughter? And you, the mother? You're the mother, and you don't know what's wrong with your daugher?" Before the mother could gather her composure, the doctor ranted, "Girls this young should not have problems like this. Their privates should not feel this way unless she did some hanky-panky". Amazing that the doctor uttered all these words before she could even examine the poor little girl.!

The girl was then told to climb on to the bed. There was no curtain for privacy. The doctor then pointed to her 7 year old son who was trying to hide behind a pillar. She yelled at the little boy and told him to get out. "You mean, this is how you live at home? You let the girl open here and open there, and then let the men see? We can be liberal but not this liberal".

Madam Sarah then told the daughter to lie down in English. She claimed the doctor asked the little girl, "You don't understand English ah?"

The doctor then claimed that the little girl is no longer a virgin and scolded the mother for being in the dark. She was prescibed an anti-bacterial wash and an anti-fungal cream.

Uneasy, Madam Sarah and her husband went to the KK Hospital to seek a second opinion. They were relieved when the doctor said the little girl had pinworms which are commonly found in children. Her daughter recovered fast from the anti-worm tablets.

Sylvia Toh Paik Choo, the journalist was enlightening in her comMEnt "So Well-Educatated Yet So Rude". The doctor is already in her 60s. I wonder how many people she had upset or hurt with her terse and tactless comments. How I wish whoever had interviewed her for medical studies decades ago, should have disqualified her like the way my friend's nephew was disqualified. Patients do not only need medicine to get better. They need encouraging words to boost their already low morale. We have heard how the will to live and to get better is crucial and vital to a sick person.

In sharp contrast, some people with lesser education can be so much more refined! My long time electrical cum plumbing contractor friend, Kenny Wee, whom I have known for 23 years will put the likes of the Woodlands doctor to shame. Though he only has secondary school education, Kenny is soft spoken and always polite and helpful.

This is why when I was teaching English in River Valley High and ACS (Independant) I emphasised to my students that I was not teaching them English for O levels, but English for life. I taught them how to express their annoyance and anger in a more refined way. I urged them to write down their thoughts instead of spewing them out verbally and on the spot, for it is hard to erase words that have been spoken out. I taught them the use of emotive language and euphemism.

If Singapore is to become the gracious society that Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew is looking forward to in line with our great progress in nation building, everyone of us here has to begin by guarding our tongues. We speak everyday. We must never let our bad mood or frustration interfere with the way we speak. I always tell myself to count up to 20 before I utter anything when I am angry.

I always remember what my papa had taught us, "Words heal; words can also kill". Life in this modern world is already so stressful and tough. Let us encourage one another with words that heal and soothe.

Gan Chau