Biblical Jokes

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.
Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in
liquidation.
Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nileand drew
out a
little prophet.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's
Triumph
was heard throughout the land. Also, it's probably a Honda, because the
apostles were all in one Accord.
Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer
lived
in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses, because he broke all Ten Commandments at one time.
Q. Which area of Palestinewas especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.
Q. Who is the greatest baby sitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.
Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark?
A. Because Noah was always standing on the deck.
P.S. - Did you know it's a sin for a woman to make coffee?
Yup, it's in the Bible. It says "Hebrews."
How the Jews got the Ten Commandments?
God went to the Arabs and said, "I have Commandments for you that will
make
your lives better."
And the Arabs asked, "What are Commandments?". "Can you give us an
example?"
"Thou shalt not kill."
"Not kill?? No way! We're not interested."
So He went to the Blacks and said, "I have Commandments."
And the Blacks wanted an example,
and the Lord said, "Honor thy Father and Mother."
"Father.? Yo maan, can't tell who our fathers are, maan!"
So He went to the Mexicans and said, "I have Commandments."
And the Mexicans wanted an example, and the Lord said, "Thou shalt not
steal."
"No steal? No steal.??? Hey Senor, we no steal then how we live,huh??
Gracias, but no!"
He went to the French and said, "I have Commandments."
The French wanted an example and the Lord said, "Thou shalt not commit
adultery."
"Not commit ze adultery..?? Non, non, monsieur, we French, we must have
ze
romance."
He went to the Jews and said, "I have Commandments."
"Commandments?" they asked, "how much do they cost?"
"They're free."
"We'll take 10."

Ps. The above biblical jokes were sent to me via
email by my best friend, Loh Soh Wah.