F A M I L Y

A friend, Freddy Cang, sent me a poem which I felt has illustrated the meaning of "family" very well. I hereby publish for my readers.


F A M I L Y

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
'Oh excuse me please' was my reply.

He said, 'Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you.'

We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on! our way and we said goodbye.

But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
'Move out of the way,' I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,

'While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.

Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.

Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes.'

By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
'Wake up, little one, wake up,' I said..

'Are these the flowers you picked for me?'
He smiled, 'I found 'em, out by the tree.

I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue.'

I said, 'Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way.'

He said, 'Oh, Mom, that's okay.
I love you anyway.'

I said, 'Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue.'


FAMILY
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company
that we are working for could easily replace us in
a matter of days.

But the family we left behind will feel the loss
for the rest of their lives.


And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more
into work than into our own family,
an unwise investment indeed,
don't you think?
So what is behind the story?


Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU

Have you met anyone who reminds you of the above incident? Has any of us been guilty of the above too? It is interesting how some people would put friends and acquaintances in a more important position than their family.

For years, my second sister has complained how her husband would put the church members first. If a member needed help, he would rush to help but brother-in-law was hardly around to help when the wife needed help with the children. It left her quite bitter and cynical, and it was only after some counselling that their relationship improved. In his book, "The Four Dimensions" Pastor Cho Yonggi, the well known Korean pastor, also shared how at one time he was so busy with his church that he hardly had time for his family. It was his mother-in-law who woke him up or he would have lost his family. Is this the reason why someone had said that "Charity begins at home?"

I remember my neighbour's second son. It was interesting to note how fierce and rebellious he was towards his family members; yet he was always so docile and accommodating towards his friends and colleagues. One day I heard him screaming at his poor mother; annoyed, I went over and gave him a piece of my mind. He was momentarily stunned by my show of annoyance. After that he avoided me, but at least I no longer heard him screaming at his parents.

Let us treasure one another within the family circle. Apart from our parents and siblings, let us also not forget that lonely uncle or aunt whose children had gone overseas or whose spouse had passed away. In fact the Bible had reminded us to be particularly compassionate towards widows and widowers.

One of my favourite Confucian quote answers the question of how to attain world peace by stating that a peaceful world depends upon peaceful nations, which depend upon well regulated states within the nations, which depend upon socially conscious and well run families, which depend upon ethical individuals. In other words, world peace begins with the individual and the shaping of his/her character.

Hence, let us all begin with ourselves. Let us be sensitive to the needs of others or in Hokkien, it is described as "zhi tong". Let us also not forget our filial piety towards our parents. When an individual is strong and sensible, he builds a happy family. What families are stable, they build a strong nation. When nations are strong and secure, they help to promote world peace. World peace is what everyone covets but before it can be attained, let us build up the family.

Gan Chau