A Distorted View on Beauty!

When I received this email entitled "Dieting" I was not quite ready to be confronted with such blatant mockery of what lovely models should represent! In its stead are pictures of a lady who looks like she has been starved so much that protruding bones seem to dominate. While the skinny pictures of starving children reveal eyes that mirror acute pain and suffering, yet the sunken eyes of this model seem to glow with pride and a smile that says, "Look, thin is beautiful!"

I would not blame the thoughts of the model for we have been told that people who suffer from anorexia nervosa have a distorted view of their actual body size. They perpetually think they are fat, even when their cells are crying out for oxygen and nourishment. I am annoyed with the photographer and all those organisers who seem to endorse that thin is beautiful. Have they not counselled the models that it is dangerous to be too grossly underweight for they might just collapse and die anytime.? Or have their counsel fallen on deaf ears?

I remember a young student was brought to me for counselling by her mother. Her mother had earlier told me that her fourteen year old daughter used to be cute and chubby. I was not quite prepared for what greeted me. The protruding cheek bones of the girl stood out so prominently that they made her cheeks look even more hollow, making her look like a woman in her seventies! My right hand could even clasp her arms. Her skin was dry and scaly. I was speechless. I was filled with compassion for this poor young girl and I burst into tears and just hugged her. Later, I made a glass of milo and fed her spoon by spoon. To my relief she finished the whole glass of milo. I sensed that it was no point talking to her for countless people must have advised her against her excessive dieting. Slowly, she ate some wheat biscuits, all the time staring into space, and sometimes staring into my tearful eyes. Next morning, at breakfast time, she ate some porridge. Gradually, she started eating. Her parents were overjoyed. It was my first confrontation with someone suffering from anorexia nervosa, and it was God who helped her. I was only an instrument to encourage her. My tears of helplessness and compassion must have finally moved her and given her the awakening. Gradually, she put on some weight, and began to learn the healthy way to diet.

I hope that family members and everyone are not overly critical about the physical makeup that they see in themselves and in others. We must always remember that people cannot help looking the way they look. Who does not want to be beautiful and handsome? One of my students was jeered at for being overweight. His classmates poked fun at his chubbiness. One day he decided to lose 30 lbs. in 3 months, and he would come to school with no money or packed lunch. Thankfully, he stopped his intense dieting after he achieved his target loss of 30 lbs. or he could be on the verge of developing anorexia nervosa.

Good looking people must be thankful that they have been endowed with great features and physique, and hence refrain from disdaining those less endowed. Instead of emphasising on external beauty, parents should focus more on nurturing their children with life skills and character building. All of us should also decide what is most important to us than mere looks and beauty for example, great health, happiness, family, friends and work fulfillment.

Gan Chau